


Seven Sleepless Nights at Camp Half-Blood and New Rome

by ClassicGamer102



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Nico di Angelo Needs a Hug, Nightmares, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24655573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassicGamer102/pseuds/ClassicGamer102
Summary: Nico thought that once things had settled down after the war, and he felt more at home at Camp Half-Blood, he'd start sleeping better. Unfortunately the life of a Half-Blood leaves just as many mental scars as physical ones. Luckily for Nico, he's got friends who are willing to help. (Whether he wants them too or not.)
Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Nico di Angelo, Nico di Angelo & Frank Zhang, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Jason Grace, Nico di Angelo & Leo Valdez, Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Piper McLean
Comments: 5
Kudos: 74





	1. Annabeth

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read the Trials of Apollo, so just assume they didn't happen. Thanks.

_Nico could feel his body giving out, the air of Tartarus burning his lungs, his skin burning. He could hear the monsters coming from behind him, keres, empousai, and worse. All around him he could hear laughter, Gaea, Akhlys, Nyx, even Tartarus itself seemed to be mocking his efforts. "Give up." Said one of the voices._

_"There's no point in continuing." Said another._

_"_ _No one will miss you." Nico fell to his knees, feeling the crude obsidian ground cutting into his knees. It was too much, the Giants were right. Percy and the others would be better off without him, he was nothing to them, a son of Hades, a freak of nature, a failure. All the fight left his body as the words sank in, and within moments he could feel himself being pulled apart by a dozen different monsters. Teeth and claws ripping into his skin, the pain flooding his senses._

Nico awoke with a shout, his body covered in a cold sweat. Sitting up in his bunk he looked around, he was in the Hades cabin, safe and sound. It had just been a dream, he wasn't in Tartarus anymore, the things the Giants and primordials had told him weren't true, he knew that now. He had friends, people who cared about him, more than he ever would have dreamed even a year ago.

The son of Hades looked over at the small skull shaped clock on his bedside table, it read _12:01_. He'd barely gotten two hours of sleep. He cursed to himself, he'd been having trouble sleeping all week, each night he woke up from some terrible nightmare, and he couldn't ever get back to sleep. It was actually getting worse by the looks of it, the previous night he'd made it to almost three. Now he was barely making it to midnight. If he didn't figure this out soon, he was going to go nuts. He couldn't keep staying up all night.

Standing up from his bunk, Nico walked into the small bathroom and turned on the light. He grimaced as he looked into the mirror, he had dark bags under his eyes, just like he'd had all day before. When he'd first come back from Tartarus he'd hardly ever slept, but over the past few months he'd been able to get more and more sleep. Now it was almost the Winter Solstice and he suddenly he kept having bad dreams. With a frustrated sigh he splashed some water on his face, trying to clear his head. He needed to figure this out, people were starting to take notice. He'd been getting more and more sluggish, during capture the flag this evening he'd been snuck up by one of the Ares kids for godsakes. Normally it was impossible for anyone to get the jump on him, let alone a child of Ares, the loudest kids in the camp. Afterwards he'd had to go to the Infirmary to have the cuts from their (embarrassingly brief) fight looked at, and Will Solace had asked if he'd been getting enough sleep lately. He'd given Nico that stupid concerned doctor look that made Nico's stomach flip. He'd brushed it off, said he was sleeping fine.

Nico did his best to banish the son of Apollo from his mind, thinking about him only confused Nico, and that wasn't gonna get him back to sleep any faster.

But then he realized that was just it, the infirmary!

While Camp Half-Blood had a large number of healers from the Apollo cabin, and a decent amount of ambrosia and nectar, the infirmary also housed a variety of mortal medicines. Some problems, such as headaches or the common cold, weren't big enough to require a healer or godly medicine when a couple ibuprofen would be enough. Nico tried to think back to the time he'd spent working in the infirmary with Will, and whether or not he'd seen anything that could help him sleep. He couldn't say for sure, but it couldn't hurt to look, right?

Normally, trying to get to the infirmary at twelve in the morning would be a problem. The cleaning harpies patrolled the camp all night to keep campers from sneaking out after dark. Fortunately, being a son of Hades had some benefits.

...Unfortunately, shadow traveling when you haven't gotten a decent nights sleep in half a week wasn't the most precise method of transportation. Rather than appearing in the middle of the infirmary, in an open space, Nico found himself appearing just below the ceiling, before plummeting down and landing on one of the few desks with a loud _THUD!_

Nico rolled off the desk onto the floor with a softer thud, groaning and holding an arm against his stomach. Maybe he'd just walk back to his cabin after getting the medicine, at this rate he was going to shadow travel head first into the lake, or end up stuck in Thalia's tree.

"Hello?" Nico's eyes widened at the sound of the voice. He didn't think anyone would still be in the infirmary, or if they were that they'd be awake. The sound of him hitting the desk must have woken them up. Laying as still as possible, Nico held his breath, hoping that the other person would think that they'd been hearing things and go back to sleep. "I know you're there." The voice called out, and this time Nico recognized the speaker's voice.

It was Annabeth.

Nico cursed mentally and laid as still as he could, hoping that maybe if he didn't move or make any noise, she would just go back to sleep. He held his breath, listening as he heard a clicking sound, and then the sound of Annabeth walking across the room. After a moment he heard the sound of her clearing her throat above him.

When Nico opened his eyes, Annabeth was standing over him, dressed in flannel pajama pants and a grey tank top. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and looked messy from just waking up. She stared down at him with her arms at her side, an annoyed look on her face. "Nico, what in Hades are you doing here?"

"Hey, Annabeth." He said weakly, Annabeth had turned on a reading lamp by her bed, casting the room in a dim, warm light. He tried quickly to think up an excuse, "I can't find my skull ring, I thought maybe I left in here when I was helping out Will earlier." He pushed himself to his feet.

Annabeth raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him, "Uh huh, and you just had to come looking for it at.." She checked the clock on the wall, "Twelve-fifteen in the morning?" Nico didn't have any kind of answer to that. "Now do you want to tell me what you're _really_ doing here, or should I go get the harpies?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll go back to my cabin." He said, trying to walk past the taller girl.

"Oh no you don't." Annabeth grabbed him by the shoulder, and spun him back to face her. "What's going on?" She looked at him more closely, her face going from annoyed to concerned. "Seriously, this isn't like you Nico, tell me what's going on."

Nico frowned at Annabeth, shrugging her hand of his shoulder. He knew she was just trying to help, but she wouldn't understand. "It's none of your business," He said, looking away from her. "What are you even doing here?"

Annabeth sighed, "I got hit on the head pretty hard by Samson during Capture the Flag. I actually blacked out for a minute or two, Chiron and Will don't think it's anything too serious, but they wanted me to stay here till morning to be sure." Nico nodded, Samson was a new member of the Hephaestus cabin, a huge kid at sixteen who looked like he could bench press Festus the Dragon. Nico didn't struggle to believe that he went a little overboard during Capture the Flag, it was a fairly common occurrence. He also didn't envy Annabeth, he'd been "ordered" three days of bed rest after Gaea was defeated. On it's own that would be bad enough, but factor in the ADHD and it was practically unbearable. The only thing that helped Nico keep his sanity was the frequent check ups from Will. "But we're not talking about me," Annabeth said, "what are you doing here? And don't give me any Minotaur crap, I want the truth Nico."

"Fine," Nico grumbled, "I can't sleep, and I came to see if we had any medicine that might help."

"You what?" Annabeth's grey eyes narrowed, looking even more like storm clouds than they usually did. Nico took an unconscious step backwards, he'd only seen Annabeth angry a couple of times, and it wasn't something he wanted directed at him. "Do you have any idea how terrible an idea that is?"

"I wasn't going to take a lot, just enough to let me get some sleep. It's fine."

"No it isn't, Nico!" She shook her head in exasperation, "You can't just start popping pills every time you have trouble sleeping, you're gonna end up like some kind of junkie. You know better than that!" Nico's hand's clenched into fists at his sides. Maybe if he was more well-rested it wouldn't have bothered him so much, but right now all he knew was that Annabeth was lecturing him like she was his mother or his sister.

"Shut up!" He shouted, causing the older girl to flinch at his sudden anger. "You don't know what you're talking about, Annabeth. This isn't a little trouble sleeping, I haven't gotten a full night's sleep in three days. So either help me find something to make me sleep, or go away." He shoved his way past her and began to walk towards the cabinet where they kept most of the mortal medicine. Annabeth grabbed him again, but this time he ripped away from her violently. "What?!"

"Nico," Annabeth said softly, "Look." She gestured at his feet, where shadowy smoke was pooling. All at once it felt like the air was forced from his lungs, he began to hyperventilate as he tried to focus on holding himself together. This was getting bad, he was losing control of his powers, the gods only knew what would happen if he didn't figure this out soon. "Hey." Annabeth reached out and laid her hand gently on his arm. She didn't look stern or angry anymore, just worried. "What's going on?"

Nico took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. He began to explain his nightmare, how Akhlys had tortured him in Tartarus, how he kept relieving the events in his dreams. It all came pouring out, like water overflowing a dam. By the time he finished, he was still shaky, but he was no longer bleeding shadows. Annabeth had listened quietly the whole time, leaning back against Will's desk as Nico explained. When he was finished she was looking at him with pity. Nico wanted to be annoyed by that, but mostly he was just tired. He wanted so badly to just sleep for the rest of the week.

"I'm so sorry, Nico. Percy and I had each other when we were in Tartarus, and we still had nightmares for weeks after we came back. We should have done more for you once the war was over, made sure you were okay." As always, Annabeth referred to her and Percy as if they were a single inseparable unit, it didn't bother him as much as it used to. But in the moment, it reminded Nico that he'd been alone in Tartarus, and they'd had each other. Annabeth looked like she wanted to pull him into a hug, but of all his friends, she was the best about respecting his boundaries. Right now he wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not.

For several moments there was silence between them, Nico thought that telling someone about his nightmares might make him feel better, but instead he just felt ten times more tired than before. Annabeth looked deep in thought, Nico wondered whether she was thinking about her own time in Tartarus and he felt maybe he'd actually made things worse, making her remember something she'd rather forget. He was about to leave when Annabeth finally broke the awkward quiet, "Self-medicating isn't gonna help, Nico." She wasn't scolding him, just stating it like a plain fact. "It's just not a good idea."

"I know, I just... I'm so tired."

Annabeth seemed to have an idea, "Follow me." She said, walking the short distance back to her cot. They stood on opposite sides of the bed as she pulled back the covers, and laid down on her side. She pulled the covers up and looked at Nico expectantly.

"W-what are you doing?" He asked, unable to believe that she was actually suggesting this. When he was little, he used to climb in bed with Bianca when he'd had a nightmare. She'd always made him feel safe, like nothing could hurt him. But she was his older sister, Annabeth wasn't.

"What do you think I'm doing? Studies have shown that you sleep better if you lay next to someone you care about. Now get in."

"What?" Nico felt his face heat up, "Annabeth, we're not gonna both fit."

"We will if we lay close together," When Nico didn't move to join her she rolled her eyes. "Come on, Nico. Your too old to think I have cooties."

"I know that!" His voice cracked with the exclamation, "It's just... what if someone finds us?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes, "What, are you worried Will's gonna think we're having an affair if he finds us in bed together?" Nico made a choked sound at accusation, his face felt like it was on fire. The ADHD part of his brain wondered if this was what Leo felt like when he lit himself aflame. "Nico, get in the bed." Annabeth demanded.

Out of decent arguments, and honestly desperate that Annabeth might be right, he laid down next to her. He turned on his side, facing away from her. He heard the click of the lamp turning off, and then felt Annabeth settle beside him, her chest against his back, her arm around his shoulder. It was much more intimate than Nico was used to with another person, closer than he'd been to anyone since Bianca died.

"Nico," Annabeth whispered, not unkindly, "You have to relax if you want to get any sleep."

"Sorry." Nico mumbled, he hadn't even noticed that he was tensed up. He consciously relaxed, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. For what seemed like forever, he just laid there. Annabeth didn't say anything, and soon enough her breathing steady, tickling the back of his neck. It was hard for him to get comfortable, the cots in the infirmary really weren't designed to hold more than one person, if Nico was any taller or heavier, it definitely wouldn't have worked.

Worse than that was the real reason he couldn't sleep, the same reasons that had been plaguing him for the rest of the week. He was afraid of having another nightmare. He felt stupid just thinking that, but it was true. Every time he fell asleep, it was like reliving his experiences in Tartarus, or the days he'd spent in Gaea's jar all over again. Once he'd even dreamed about his encounter with Cupid, only this time his audience had included everyone at Camp, and none of them were as accepting as Jason had been. 

He forced himself to push those thoughts out of his mind. He focused on the things immediately around him, the sound of crickets chirping in the woods. The gentle weight of Annabeth's arm across his shoulder, her breath on his neck. She felt warm, and kind of soft. It reminded him of cuddling with Bianca as a child.

Slowly, Nico felt himself begin to relax. He settled into the cot, with Annabeth reassuring weight behind him, and finally fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	2. Jason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out much more angsty than the first one. Hopefully it's handled well and not too over the top.

_"I had crush on Percy! That's it! That's the big secret. Happy now?" Nico felt like he was going to vomit, all his shame and fear and loathing was being laid bare, he fell to his knees feeling like he'd been punched in the gut. Finally, Cupid took physical form in front of him. His handsome face stared down at the son of Hades with a mocking grin._

_"See? Don't you feel so much better? Admitting to be the pathetic little freak that you are?" Cupid knelt down, gripping Nico's chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing him to look into the god's blood red eyes. Nico could feel the tears stinging his eyes, he wanted to pull away, to run for the hills. But he didn't have the will to do so. He felt more powerless in this moment than he had in all his time in Tartarus. "Why don't we see what Percy has to say about your little confession."_

_"What? No, please no!" This wasn't right, Percy was in Tartarus, with Annabeth. They were trapped down there, that was the only reason Nico was here, the only reason he'd admitted to his crush. But all the same there he was, standing behind Cupid with a look of horror and disgust on his face. "Percy..." He could hear his voice trembling, he was shaking. Anything but this, he would rather spend an eternity in Gaea's jar, his entire life in Tartarus, but he couldn't face this._

_"You love me?" The shock in Percy's voice was obvious, "Are you kidding? You think I'd ever love_ you _?" He turned away, "You're a freak, an outcast, you don't_ deserve _love."_

_Cupid was at Nico's side now, his arm around Nico's shoulder, "Love can be so painful, but at least now you know the truth. I know it's hard to accept, but Percy Jackson is right." The god moved closer to Nico, whispering in his ears, "You don't deserve love."_

_"No!" Nico cried, shaking his head, covering his ears with his hands. "That's not true, Bianca, Hazel... they love me." Even as Nico said the words, he found himself wondering if they were true. Suddenly, Nico's sisters appeared on either side of Percy, Hazel covering her mouth and looking at him like he was a monster, Bianca glaring at him with hatred._

_"You never loved me back!" Hazel accused, "I was only ever a replacement for you. I wasn't the one you wanted to bring back from the Underworld." She couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with him, "And now, I find out that you're..... you're...."_

_"A freak." Bianca finished, her voice icy cold. "A perversion. I couldn't wait to get away from you, Nico. I was so sick of taking care of you, you were so weak and helpless. When Artemis offered me a place in her hunt, I couldn't join fast enough. If I had known what you really were, it would only have made me that much more certain of my choice." Nico couldn't believe what he was hearing. Bianca had been the only person he'd ever fully trusted, she'd been his only family for so long. Had she really thought of him this way the whole time?_

_"This isn't real, this can't be real..." His voice was barely above a whisper, "Make it stop, please make it stop!"_

Nico jerked awake in his bed. "Just another dream..." He murmured. He reached up to rub the sleep from his eyes and found that his eyes and face were wet. He'd been crying. The realization made him angry, it was a stupid dream. None of it had happened, Percy didn't hate him. Hazel loved him, and so had Bianca. He had friends, he was worthy of being loved.

Wasn't he?

He ignored the question. He knew the answer, it had been proven to him time and time again in the last months since he'd chosen to stay at Camp Half-Blood. Nico was worthy of being loved, he _deserved_ love. He wasn't an outcast, or a freak, or a perversion. There was nothing wrong with him.

Sighing heavily, Nico forced himself out of bed. It was only 5 AM, it would be a few more hours until breakfast and anyone else would be awake, but he knew he wasn't going to be getting anymore sleep tonight. He showered and dressed for the day. It was mid-December, and while Mr. D kept the weather under control, some of the campers had requested he let it snow and things get chillier for the right "holiday feel". Surprisingly, the surly camp director had acquiesced. Nico didn't generally mind it, though his purple New Rome hoodie was a little big on him ("You have to own some something other than black t-shirts with skeletons." Hazel had insisted), but right now his cabin felt uncomfortably cold. Maybe it was all in his head, maybe it had something to do with the fact that he kept replaying the events from his dream over and over again.

He flopped down onto his bed with a huff, it had been two days since Annabeth had found him in the infirmary. He'd been feeling a little better, getting more sleep, but apparently it couldn't last. And there was no way he was gonna go running to Annabeth every time he had a bad dream. Nico wondered if maybe he could talk to Clovis, but quickly dismissed the idea. Talking about Tartarus with Annabeth had been uncomfortable enough, and she was one of his closest friends. He liked the head counselor of the Hypnos cabin alright, but not enough to share what had happened in Croatia. The only people who knew about that were Jason, Reyna, and Coach Hedge, and part of Nico already thought that was too many.

 _I'm worth being loved_ , he told himself. _There's nothing wrong with me._

Eventually the breakfast horn sounded, rousing the rest of the camp from its slumber. Nico trudged across the green to the dining pavilion, his sneakers crunching in the thin layer of snow that blanketed the camp. Breakfast had been Nico's favorite meal when he was a kid in DC, there had been a diner that his mom would take him and Bianca to on Sunday mornings that made the best pancakes he'd ever had, but nowadays he usually just stuck to some toast with strawberry preserves.

As he ate, Nico thought about his dream again. He hated Cupid, hated that he'd been forced to share such a private thing under duress. He hated that he couldn't just erase the memory from his mind, force it deep down inside where he never had to think about it again. He hated that his dreams made him relive one of the most painful moments of his life. Mostly he hated the part of him that still believed what he'd heard in his dreams was true.

He was pulled out of his brooding by the sound of Will Solace's laughter ringing across the pavilion. Nico knew it was a cliche thing to say about someone whose dad is the literal god of music, but Will's laughter was like music, making all of his siblings smile and join in. Kayla Knowles caught Nico looking over and gave him a knowing look. She'd been the one to catch him and Annabeth cuddled together the other day, and when she'd woken them up he had meant to ask her not to tell anyone. Instead he'd said "Please, don't tell _Will_ you found us like this!" She'd laughed and told him that his secret was safe. He broke eye contact with her and finished his toast, ignoring the heat he felt rising to his face.

Once he was finished his meal, he put away his plate and walked away from the pavilion. He didn't get far before someone called out to him, "Nico, hey!" Jason was jogging towards him, dressed in a similar hoodie as Nico and blue jeans. He'd cut his hair shorter after the end of the Giant War, and his glasses still sat askew on his face. Nico was beginning to think Jason did that on purpose just to bother him. "You okay?" He asked.

Nico's jaw tightened, "Yeah, of course. Why?"

"You just looked sort of intense during breakfast." Jason seemed to examine him more closely, "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Nico said, suddenly taking a lot of interest in Jason's shoes. They looked like a brand new pair of Brooks, white with a blue sole. Dating the daughter of a movie star clearly had some perks. Jason opened his mouth to keep talking, but Nico didn't give him the opportunity. "I've got archery practice, I'll talk to you later." Then he turned and walked away before Jason could respond. This wasn't a big deal. Before he'd been having trouble sleeping all the time, this was just one bad dream.

* * *

The rest of the day passed without incident. Nico had gone through his activities schedule like he was in a haze, trying his best not to think about his dream.

His final job of the day was his shift in the infirmary. He didn't have much aptitude as an actual medic, but he was able to fill out paperwork, take inventory, occasionally help hold someone down while they were being worked on by the real medics. Currently, he was taking inventory of their stock of ambrosia and nectar. The stores were better than they'd been after Gaea, but Chiron wanted the camp to always have an up to date count of their godly medicine.

He'd just finished when Will came up to him. "You almost done?" He asked, clapping Nico on the shoulder. He was dressed in a green scrubs shirt, khaki shorts and flip flops. Nico suddenly found himself struggling to form words, he hated that the son of Apollo had that affect on him. Forcing his expression to stay neutral, he shrugged Will's hand off his shoulder and handed him the completed inventory.

"The number's the same as it was two weeks ago, we haven't had any major injuries or quests, so I don't know what Chiron was expecting." Nico pushed his way past Solace, needing to put some distance between them before the butterflies in his stomach flew up his throat.

Will looked over the papers Nico had handed him, nodding along as he read them. "Looks good, I'll give these to him before dinner." Nico was leaning on the edge of Will's desk, and the medic came over to put the papers on the desk behind them, standing next to Nico. "So, I was wondering if you'd want to sit together at the campfire tonight?" Will asked, casually.

"W-what?" Nico stuttered, his heart beginning to beat like a conga drum in his chest. Nico almost always ended up sitting with Jason at bonfires, though in the last couple days since Piper had arrived for her winter break, Nico had felt like sort of a third wheel.

But Will and his siblings were the ones who led the campfire singalongs, Nico usually just sat back and listened. He would look completely out of place, sitting next to Will and all his singing sun shining siblings in total silence. Worse, they'd tried to make him sing and they'd probably laugh at him for sounding like a beached whale or something, he would be the laughing stock of the camp. Or worse, Nico would do something totally stupid and embarrassing and give away the fact that he had a crush on Will and he'd never be able to show his face in the infirmary again and...

"Yeah, we hardly ever hang out outside of the infirmary, I thought it would be fun." Will's voice pulled Nico out of his thought spiral, his million watt smiling calming Nico down. This wasn't anything serious, right? It was just two friends hanging out, it would be fine.

"Um, yeah. I'll-I'll think about it." Nico said, unable to make himself commit.

"Great!" Will smiled, standing up off the desk just as the dinner horn sounded. The two demigods walked in comfortable silence to the dining pavilion. Nico let himself breathe again, the idea of hanging out with Will at the campfire actually sounded pretty nice, he wouldn't feel like he was intruding on anyone when Piper and Jason whispered to one another or when she rested her head on his shoulder. And it wasn't like Will's brothers and sisters were strangers, he knew Kayla fairly well and had spoken to Austin once or twice without scaring the younger boy away. "I'll see you after dinner." Will clapped his shoulder again as they parted ways to sit at their respective tables. Nico watched as Will joined his siblings, only to once again catch a knowing look from Kayla.

Suddenly, Nico's dream popped back into his head. He heard Cupid's soft timbre in his ears. _"You don't deserve love."_ He tried to push the voice out of his head, but it wouldn't leave. _"Look at him,"_ It seemed to say, _"Kind, happy, beautiful, everything you're not. How could he possibly want you?"_

 _That's not true._ He told himself, he wasn't worthless, he wasn't broken. He deserved love as much as anyone else.

Suddenly, Nico didn't have much of an appetite. He decided to go back to his cabin, maybe take a quick nap before the campfire. He'd been up since the crack of dawn, and he'd been busy all day. Nico hadn't noticed how tired he actually was until he thought about it. A nap sounded like a great idea.

* * *

As it turned out, taking a nap was just about the worst thing Nico could have done.

His dream had repeated itself, Cupid cornering him in Croatia, forcing Nico to reveal his secret. Only this time, Will was added to the mix. And just like Percy, Hazel, and Bianca, Will thought that Nico was some kind of freak.

When Nico eventually jolted awake, he heard someone pounding on the door to the Hades Cabin. Instantly, his heart was in his throat, he knew that it was Will on the other side, wanting to know why he'd skipped out on dinner, why Nico had abandoned him at the campfire. Nico rolled over in his bunk, turning away from the door and pulling his blanket over his head, like a little kid hiding from a monster. He closed his eyes, silently praying that Will would just give up on him. That was what he deserved, to be left alone like the waste of skin that he was.

"Nico!" The voice called, it was Jason. He sounded worried, which only made Nico feel worse. "Come on, man. I know something's up, let me in so we can talk about it." The son of Jupiter continued to bang on Nico's door. Nico wanted to scream at him to go away, and beg him to come inside and never leave in equal measure. He wasn't worth Jason's time, Jason who everyone at camp loved and respected. Jason who hadn't rejected Nico even when he found out his secret, who refused to recognize just how worthless Nico really was. "Nico, I will sit here all night if you don't let me in. Do you want to explain to everyone how I got eaten by the cleaning harpies because you wouldn't open the door?" That was the final straw. With a frustrated groan, Nico forced himself out of bed and went to the door.

Nico must have looked even worse than he felt because as soon as he opened the door Jason's face fell. "Hey." Nico greeted, not sure what else to say.

"Hey." Jason replied, walking into the cabin. "What's been going on? You've been off all day."

"I'm fine, Grace. It's none of your business." Nico snapped. He couldn't tell Jason the truth, that he was dreaming about Croatia, that he couldn't make himself believe that he was worth being loved. He didn't want to sound like an idiot, believing things that had been proven wrong a dozen times over, but more than that, Nico couldn't bring himself to risk finding out that he was right. That Jason didn't really care about him or his problems, that no one did.

Jason didn't rise to Nico's tone, "You're my friend, if something's troubling you it is my business." He took a step towards Nico, and Nico took a step back. He couldn't meet Jason's eyes, so the son of Jupiter took charge. He grabbed Nico by the shoulders and bent down to eye level, forcing the son of Hades to look him in the eyes. "I mean it, Nico, whatever is bothering you, I want to help."

Nico felt like his heart was clenching at Jason's words, he felt tears stinging his eyes. He was such an idiot, letting a couple ridiculous dreams mess him up so badly. He was the Ghost King, one of the most powerful demigods of this century, and he'd been brought so low by the imagined words of a minor god. It was pathetic. Nico blinked away the tears and took a shaky breath. "I.... I had this dream last night." He started, expecting Jason to roll his eyes or mock him, but his friend only nodded, waiting for Nico to continue. "It was... it was about Croatia. About Cupid."

"Nico..." Jason said, but Nico didn't let him finish. If he stopped now, he'd never get it out.

"It was like everything I've ever been afraid of. Percy and Hazel and Bianca and..... and Will, they were all there. When they found out about _me_ , they were disgusted, they mocked me. And Cupid said they were right to, that I wasn't worthy of love, that..." Nico choked on a sob, hating himself for it.

"That's a load of crap." Jason sounded so angry that Nico actually flinched, "You deserve love as much as anyone else, more even. Cupid's a jerk, what happened in Croatia was horrible, and I'm sorry we couldn't find another way, but listen to me Nico. There is _nothing_ wrong with you, understand?"

Jason said the words so seriously, with so much conviction and security that Nico couldn't help nodding along. Still though, the doubts niggled at the back of his head, that little voice that sounded like Cupid wasn't going to go away just because Jason had given him a pep talk. His apprehension must've shown on his face because Jason kept talking, "I don't expect you to get over it all at once, but think about it, Nico. Think about how happy Percy and Annabeth were to see you when they got back last week, think about how Hazel can't wait to see you for her birthday in a few days. There are so many people here who love and care about you, Nico."

Nico thought on Jason's words, the big bear hug Percy had given him when he and Annabeth had arrived for winter break, the way Annabeth asked him about what had been going on at camp the last few months. He'd Iris messaged Hazel a few days ago to make sure she was still getting her birthday off from Centurion duties, and she'd been so excited to see him. They tried to Iris message a couple times a month, but it wasn't always that easy. He thought about the way Will Solace had smiled when Nico came for his infirmary shift this afternoon.

He even thought about how Jason had asked him if he was alright this morning, checking on him as soon as he noticed there might be a problem.

"You're right." Nico said, after taking a deep breath. His nerves were still rattled, but he knew on some level that everything Jason had said was true. "Thank you." He added, his voice barely above a whisper. Jason pulled him into a hug without warning, Nico wanted to protest, Jason always hugged like he was trying to squeeze you into happiness. But Nico was honestly glad of it in the moment, he found himself hugging back.

"Whatever you need, man. I'm here for you." Jason smiled down at Nico, before turning to leave the cabin. It was almost definitely after lights out, if he didn't head back to his cabin ASAP he was gonna risk running into the patrol harpies. Yet, when Jason turned away, Nico felt his whole body clench. He was gripped by a sudden anxiety.

"Jason, wait." He called out, before he could stop himself. The son of Jupiter turned back, his hand resting on the door knob. Nico's mouth twisted up as he debated saying what he wanted to say. Telling Jason that Nico wanted him to stay, that he was afraid of being left alone right now. In the end, fear beat out embarrassment, and Nico stared down at the floorboards as he asked "Can you stay here tonight?"

"Yeah, for sure." He said it like it was no big deal, a totally normal thing for a fourteen year old to ask his sixteen year old friend. Jason took one of the other beds, and they turned out the lights.

Nico wasn't tired, he didn't feel like sleeping after the events of the day. But he also didn't want to be alone. Having someone else in the cabin, someone who he knew cared about him helped though. Knowing that even if he didn't end up getting any sleep tonight, he wasn't alone. 

That was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not gay, I have no first hand experience with any of the struggles Nico would/might feel when it comes to his sexuality. I hope that my portrayal wasn't melodramatic, or offensive, or just flat out poorly written. Either way, not 100% pleased with this chapter. But I think (read: hope) next chapter will feel better.


End file.
